Elis Regina & Tom Jobim- Waters of March - English subtitles

Goodbye March. I have the joy of sharing with you that I have got 3 more pieces published. I just found out last night after we rolled in after the Great Dan Savage experience at The Kessler. I can't imagine a nicer, more honest and frank person who give his advice so freely and unapologeticlly. I can't help but think that boy he had a hell of a mom. He is just a prince. I even asked him a question privately about talking about sex with my daughter.. and he gave me reassurance that i was doing it right (!!!!) and boy what a load off my shoulders. I come from an upbringing that NEVER talked about anything sexual. For my 12th birthday I was given a copy of ' Are you there god, it's me margaret' and that was the extent of my sexual teaching. I don't know how I got where I have, and I am lucky I didn't make any mistakes. But for the most part I was terrified of any kind of sexuality until I hit about 18, and then all bets were off. I'm glad and I thank the universe I didn't get myself killed somehow. AIDS was rampant, and so was Acid and X and all sorts of stuff that could get you preggo or killed. So if anything my parents made me terrified of sex, so I guess there is that! Today I returned to my new doctor only to find out that i GAINED 12 fucking pounds in 3 weeks. Red light. They ran all sorts of tests, and are asuming its the medication, which was changed today..but I just got a letter that they want to run MORE tests on me on Monday. I'm not worried, yet. But I def feel like something might be up. I had a pap, and a pregnancy test. (negatory.. thank goodness, but for 10 minutes I ran over the thought of holding a baby in my arms again, changing diapers, teaching it to walk, talk, read and getting it to the Presidency) About 7 years ago I went baby crazy and I just thought I'd die if I didn't have another one. I had some losses, and I gave up. It's not an issue for me anymore, because I meet young parents with little ones and I can just spoil them and coddle them all I want, buy them clothes and books and talk to them all day until they go home. It's like a surrogate granny. Oh I know I'm going to be a good granny someday, at least I hope I get a chance to be. Ok where is this blog going? oh yeah So more tests on monday. I dunno. I feel really good. I love my klonopin, in fact I feel more like my old self (we are talking way back in my 20s) again. I don't know if I could function on this level without something, but for safety sake i'm booking an appointment with a shrink, so maybe just maybe I can get all this worked out. I've got a lot of living to do and I'm ready to get this on the ball. Tonight, conjuntos at The Kessler. Hell Yeah. I may be dateless, but i'll dance my ass off. Gotta get this poundage lost somehow. And tomorrow the kids reading, so I have to go buy some clementines like the last time, the kids ate them up! I'm sure there is more I need to say, and in a more poetic way since this is National Poetry Month! (hooray) so I'll write this little one right now: wind rakes my hair with its whispiness i am a dandelion with a million wishes waiting to exhale pluck me from my concrete curb crack lay me on my back and let me tumble like a bob dylan song over the meadow and onto the rusted traintracks i breathe and i'm ready to swept away... eos.

patience is a virtue i apparently have not

The hardest thing is the waiting..spinning my wheels waiting for it all to be done. I feel like I can't do anything fast, or thorough enough..I feel like the time is flying past and I'm still looking at an empty room waiting for something to happen..but my bank account is still dissapearing! HA! I guess that's what it's like!

Painting painting..who know a tiny place could demand so much paint? Tomorrow if the sky will shut up for a few hours, we will begin to work on the shelves, one week behind. I feel as soon as I have some shelves up then it will seem so very real. This week I have been unloading the used merch and sorting, cleaning and stacking it all over my poor little house. I am very pleased so far with the variety of subjects, and I even found some really good kids books that had been set aside for a while. We placed almost all of our orders now, not including the periodicals, but those will be shipped within 2 days of opening, so that will be ok. My first delivery comes tomorrow...!

Chris will start on the mural tomorrow as well. I am so excited to see it finished..then my shelves then my electrical work, ( a new fan and lights).

The most exciting news is that the Advocate wants to do a story on the bookstore! Amazing. I am so thankful we have such a supportive neighborhood and community. I can't wait to do something good for them..I can't wait to give back to the kids, and all the neighbors by providing them a well of knowledge to drink from. Thats really what this is all about for me..opening some doors, and opening some minds and giving back to all the people that have helped me. I can't wait to give my poets thier space to sell and share thier work. I can't wait to see kids reading in the corners of the stores, or people getting turned on to something old or new. So much to look forward to..and yet, so much to do.

Christa, Raq, and Rico are coming to help us tommorow night..It will good to catch up and work together with them. This is all I got now. I'm tired, and I need to rest for the morning. One more permit to get and then on to my beautiful shelves!

when it rains

C.O has been finalized! Three inspectors came on Thursday, did the walk thru and passed our little nook with flying colors! That seems to be it for permits. I may need to get one if and when we place our sign, if it is larger than the one that is already on the premises. Must check with the office before I get to comfortable.


Little physical work done as of Friday, when the rain started. We had planned on working on the shelves this weekend, but with the rain coming like it has, we had to postpone that till the next coming weekend. We found a leak in the celing, so we called the landlord. Have yet to hear back. We did finish our painting, (finally) and decide on another order of sidelines. I found some book lots on ebay, and gave 2 a shot, which will be a major shot for both the kids and comics sections.

Friday I went to my old boss to tell him about the news. It was so good to talk to him again, and he gave me some good pointers, a lesson on bookeeping (and a ledger to use) and a pat on the back. He was a good boss to me for many years, and a cherished friend. I hope he can make it by soon, I would love to get his feedback on the setup and flow, although I think I feel pretty confident about our idea. As I walked into the bookstore where I almost ended up in the end, I still felt the deliciousness of NOT working there.. I never thought I would be at this point in my life where I was going to have my own place. I just never thought it was ever going to happen.

This weekend gave us a good break...but can you believe what happened? Our AC in our house is going kablooey. Its a good thing it has been so mild. I had to go to Walgreens and get some floor fans, but it was a good thing they were on sale. I got 3 so we can take them to the shop. The shop has only one vent and a ceiling fan that is wacky shack and giggles like jello. It's totally not serving a purpose right now and I think I'm going to have to look for something elses. Anyway, back to the weekend, well, we slept late and spent good time together as a family. We had a great night with some friends of ours, playing Beatles Rock Band, and stayed up late laughing and watching good movies. I'm so thankful for my friends. They even helped finish up the painting last week. They are awesome.

Next task is the shelves. I will upload pictures as soon as they are up! Also, after that I may be interested in buying some books from all of y'all! Exciting !

just keep swimming

It's been a busy past few days. Today I secured our Certificate of Occupancy, after a 2 hour wait at the county clerks office. Tomorrow will be our first inspection. The clerk explained that it would be a quick one, just checking safety, plumbing and electrical issues. I believe there will be a second inspection when we get the fixtures set, as I have been told that they will require a fire hydrant and a lit exit sign. Our place is only 300 square feet, so I have a hard time imagining anyone would need to know where the exit is..oh the workings of permits! We will see what will happen after tomorrow.

Yesterday we took a day off of working. C has been working 7 days on, since there has been a shift change at his job. He works graveyard shift, which means he has been working all night, coming home and sleeping aprox. 5 hours then going to the shop and painting. He was exhausted yesterday, and I had a raging migraine, so we called off for the day. It was nice even tho' my headache was pounding until 8pm. C managed to make some sketches and do the measuring for our shelving, and we have decided to use sheets of particle wood to make them and the display tables. We should be starting on them this Friday, after the last of the paint goes up.

Tonite Chris, our neighbor and friend, came over and lent us his scaffolding and paint gun. He is a local artist that has been commissioned to do many murals in the area as well as in Las Vegas for some of the casinos. He is HELLA talented! Well, he thought the moulding on the ceiling might look better with some copper highlights over the yellow that was already there, and that if we chose that it would take less time and effort than painting with a base coat and changing completely. Well, Chris got started and didn't stop till it was all done! What a blessing! So now all we have to do is the wall, and the back door.

On a side note, today we were in a minor fender bender. Everyone is ok, it just happened in a parking lot, so there was not alot of speed involved, (thank goodness) so everything is ok. I guess I kind of felt like something had to happen. I am not letting it get to me. We are on such a good roll now. I'm not saying I don't have my moment of complete and total fear and anxiety, but right now the good is totally outweighing the bad. I am having fun, even though I am very nervous. It just feels like a giant rollercoaster..My arms are up and I'm waiting for that delicious release!

paint, shelves and crunch bugs

Physical work done today was minimal at best, but my brain is going off in a million directions! What have I done?!?!? Am I really going thru with this? What is the likelyhood of dragging my family into financial ruin over this crazy dream? Breathe. It's only been a few days and I'm a bundle of nerves. Somehow I know when the work really gets rolling I will forget about all the worries and just enjoy the actual work. I never really hated doing books, I just wanted to do it for myself.

Today was the behemoth of a left over shelf system that we tore apart to see if we could use. I would reuse anything if you give me the chance. It isn't always a wise decision, and I'm trying to decide whether this is worth the fight. The shelves are narrow, not well constructed and painted black. C would have to reinforce the shelves, anchor them to the wall and I would have to repaint them. But somehow, my stubborness thinks they will work. Will I waste all my time on them and put us in jeopardy and lost time over them? Probably. I hate wasting things. The small section we kept would be used only for the storage behind the counter..it makes me feel better since no hands will be pulling on it, or little feet climbing on it. I think it will work...Well, we will see tomorrow.

We have pretty much decided on the display counter and POS area. They are a little more expensive than I was hoping..but not by too much. All of this still makes me wish we had our own truck. Too late now. Every extra penny is needed now. (I can't believe I won't be getting paid..you know at first hopefully not for long. Cringe. Here comes the worry again..) the display shop wasreasonable, the staff was friendly and helpful, and I even found a used magazine rack I really like, for cheap, so we decided to come back on Tuesday and place the order then. C made paper templates of the floor space the displays will use, so we moved them around till we found a good fit. Even P helped us with placement. It's going to work well.

We also decided on our colors today. We went with the bright one. The others were way too 'fleshy' as C put it and I agree. Tomorrow we will get started with the primer, and we should be finished by mid week. We also need to place a few more orders before the end of the week..we decided if we can work furiously from now till mid month, we can use the last 3 weeks organizing and getting stock in the shelves. I can't even invision that massive amount of books we have in storage making their way to the shop, or the ones we have here in the house, for that matter, or the ones we are ordering..! I hope I can rally some help for that process..it's gonna be killer.

Three

Got woken up this morning from a suprise visit from the Landlord. I must have given her quite a scare with my bed head and blue cotton jumper thick with sleep creases! I was horrified to have her drop by, my house was a TOTAL WRECK! There were fast food cartons on the kitchen table from last night, shoes and clothes everywhere and a TATER TOT under the coffee table..along with dust balls, dirty floors and strewn homework everywhere..Needless to say, I'm going to have to get a hold of my housekeeping skills while the shop work is being done. I can't live this way.. Luckily my Landlady is awesome, and she told me it looked pretty good considering she has 3 boys in her house. I still felt so ashamed. I cleaned up the house and swept and threw away the damn tater tot, and feel bettter about it now.

Last night we stayed up till 2 am working on an order of sidelines for the store. It is my first order, and although I've never done it before it was easy. What can be easier than spending money? Plus when I was working wholesale I was on the other end, so I have a good understanding of what is going on, I guess. Well, I got some pretty cool stuff, so I hope you all will like it.. I am trying to keep my price points pretty reasonable..I know my audience! But this stuff should be very cool!

We are now on our way to a fixture store, then back to the shop to make the final decision on paint. We have 2 neutral colors and one bright one. I think the bright is going to win out!

Talk to you tonite!

Ops

Day Two!

Today after a late start (we had a terriffic rainstorm last night that kept me snoozin' on into the morning!) C and I got started on the permits. Everything went relatively well, cept we got caught up on naming the store. It seems crazy to me theat I've been looking forward to this all my life but when it came down to it, I drew a blank. We have been exsisting online for almost a year as 'Subversive Verse' and have sold many books on 'underground' topics, but we felt that this city may not be ready or at least receptive to this type of literature. Also our new home is very small! This was part of the draw for us, because besides being affordable, we will have plenty of items to fill it up nicely and have a goo vaariety of products. So here we are, a cute funky little spot in an old strip at the end of Tyler and Davis. We met our neighbors yesterday, and everything seems like it's going to be good. Here we go world! We hope you are ready ( and we are ready) for us!